A Changed Heart?
by doodlemaster22
Summary: The Order struggles with the situation surrounding the 14th - it's affecting everyone now. But when Allen decides "something" on his own...what will the people closest to him do? And what happens after?
1. Chapter 1

~D. GRAY MAN DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! IT BELONGS TO KATSURA HOSHINO!!~

~THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS FANFICTION!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!!!~

~ERIKA WALKER BELONGS TO ME AND ME ALONE. SHE IS NOT AN ACTUALL DGM CHARACTER AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT!!~

A Changed Heart...?

Clouds lined the horizon, dotting the blue sky as the sun peeked through the spots that remained untouched. The air was crisp, and a thin layer of snow covered the ground. A dark haired, Chinese woman strolled through the streets of the town, browsing the shops that she passed. A taller, red-headed man followed behind her with his hands behind his head. The woman carried a little girl in her arms, which happened to be squealing with delight.

"Thanks for helping me with shopping, Lavi." The woman said, turning her violet eyes to rest on the man. He only grinned at her and replied happily, "It's the least I can do. Besides, it's good to get out of Headquarters once in a while." His gaze turned to a shop displaying multiple kinds of pastries and breads. "Ah...do we need anything from here, Lenalee?" he asked, stopping for a brief moment. Lenalee turned and only motioned for him to go into the shop; she was trying to adjust the scarf around the girl's neck. But she only looked around excitedly, a wide smile beaming on her face. "Erika, please! Just hold still!" Lenalee scolded, but Erika couldn't have been happier. She brushed aside a stray hair and tried her best to fix the girl's white hair. Lenalee walked into the shop, making sure her grip on Erika was one that wouldn't be broken.

"Mama! It's so nice out! Can't I go play, can't I? Please?" Erika begged, her large violet eyes drifting to the window. The girl fiddled with Lenalee's long hair and continued to beg. Lenalee shifted Erika into a more comfortable position on her shoulder and replied, "If I let you play, are you going to run off?" Erika frowned and pouted.

"But Mama! I want to play in the snow!"

"Yes, I know you do. You can play with Lavi AFTER we get this done."

"How long's that going to take?"

"It'll be done when it's done."

Erika let out a deep sigh and clung tightly to her mother. Soon enough, Lavi and Lenalee had left the little shop and were once again window shopping. Lenalee blinked as something cold lightly landed on her cheek. Again, a cold drop fell onto the bare skin of her face. She looked up and, sure enough, fluffy flakes of fresh snow were drifting down from the clouds. A loud gasp escaped Erika's lips and before Lenalee could do anything, she had wriggled out of her grasp and was running in wide circles. "It's snowing, it's snowing!" Erika exclaimed, her low pigtails streaming out behind her and she sprinted excitedly, darting between people and laughing loudly.

Lenalee let out a sigh; her daughter was far too energetic. She heard Lavi chuckle behind her, and he came up to her saying, "Don't worry. I'll handle this." He winked at her, though you couldn't tell because of his eye patch, gave her the bags he was holding, and quickly ran after Erika wearing a playful grin. She let out a shriek and bolted away from Lavi, and though all the while she was yelling "no", the streets echoed with her laughter. Lavi stretched out his arms, picked her up by her underarms, and swung her in large circles, being careful not to hit anyone passing by.

Lenalee laughed softly at the scene, and then took cover under the outer roof of a nearby shop. The snow was getting heavier and she wanted to be careful not to get sick. She hadn't exactly worn the warmest clothing today. She raised her gaze back up to the sky; although the clouds were dull and uninviting, everyone carried on with their day wearing bright smiles and letting their own laughter fill the air. Lenalee seemed to lose track of time staring at the clouds and the falling snow; today was a day not much different from that one day, four years ago. To Lenalee, memories as cold as the snow were brought back through this scene...

"_P-Please don't go...! Please...!!" Lenalee begged, tears staining her cheeks as she clung the fabric of the boy's shirt. Her head was spinning and she couldn't stop the tears from coming; this couldn't be happening! It wasn't fair!!_

"_...Lenalee. Lenalee, look at me." the boy spoke, in a soft tone. Lenalee could hear the pain that he was trying to hide in his voice and she gripped the fabric tighter. She lifted her head slowly, choking back another sob, and stared at the boy's handsome face. A smile formed on his lips, and although he smiled, the hurt was obvious in his greyish-blue eyes. "It's only for the best...the best for everyone." He tilted his head slightly sideways, and his white hair shifted with the gentle motion. Still smiling, he continued, "I have no idea when the 14__th__ will awaken. The signs have already been getting worse. Besides, the higher-ups already think I'm a threat—"_

"_But Allen-kun! You AREN'T dangerous! You'd never hurt anyone!"_

"_I wouldn't, but I don't know if I'd be able to restrain the 14__th__."_

_Lenalee stopped for only a moment, letting the comment take hold of her heart for only a brief second. Her grip tightened even more on Allen's shirt and she leaned her head against his chest. His heart beat thumped softly beneath the layers of clothing, quickly and evenly; it seemed unnatural that his heart was thrumming so fast. Was he nervous...? Lenalee couldn't find the word to explain it._

_Allen reached up with his hands and gently took a hold of her shoulders. He carefully pressed the girl's body against his own and wrapped his arms firmly around her. Lenalee blinked at the comforting gesture, but didn't move. Then, after a short silence, he whispered, "...Before my master disappeared, he told me something. He told me that...when I became the 14__th__...I would have to kill someone I loved."_

_Lenalee stopped a gasp from escaping, but her eyes widened with shock. General Cross had said that...? Allen's hold on her had tightened and his head rested on her shoulder. His hot breath on the skin of her neck sent a chill up her back. Lenalee slowly moved her hands from his chest, around his back and squeezed her eyes shut. She hugged him back tightly, not ever wanting to let go..._

_Hot tears stung Lenalee's eyes once more and she clung to Allen, inwardly begging the horror and pain to disappear. Why was this happening...? Why did Allen have to go through so much pain...?! Why did EVERYONE have to suffer so much?! He let out a shaky sigh, and the two held each other for what must have seemed like forever to them. The snow fell silently outside, and a small breeze of winter air blew in through the partially open window. Allen then pulled away slowly, while Lenalee felt desperation rising in her heart once again. He raised his cursed hand to stroke her cheek and smiled again; Lenalee thought that his eyes may have been glistening with tears. His voice seemed strained as he spoke quietly, "Lenalee...can you make me a promise?" The rough skin of his gnarled hand felt odd against her soft skin, but she held it there with one shaking hand. He continued, "Can you promise me...that you'll keep smiling? That you'll keep on smiling, no matter what happens? No matter how much pain there is...?"_

_Lenalee blinked. All at once, a flood of memories came rushing back. Back in the Ark, Allen had told Lenalee that he would go back to look for his master and everyone else. He'd been smiling that same smile...smiling, even though he knew exactly how she felt._

"_Lenalee-chan? Where are you?"_

_The soft voice called out from the coming darkness, echoing throughout the halls of the old castle which was now the new home of the exorcists. Lenalee turned her head slightly towards where the voice came from; she recognized it. It was Miranda._

_It was then Lenalee noticed that Allen had moved farther away from her. She snapped her head back to look at Allen, her eyes wide. He stepped back, again and again... He was almost out of reach now. Lenalee wanted to stop him, HAD to stop him...but she couldn't move. Her legs felt like stone but the tears, which were now streaming down her cheeks again, felt as real as the air she breathed._

"_Allen-kun...! Wait—"_

"_Keep smiling, Lenalee!"_

_He stepped back quicker now, his steps wider and more rushed. Miranda's footsteps were echoing down the hall; she was getting closer._

"_Allen-kun! Allen-kun!!"_

_Lenalee's voice broke and she held back the sobs that were forming in her throat and kept her chest tight._

"_You'll keep smiling! Promise?"_

_He took a large leap backwards, pushing the window completely open, and he disappeared into the growing shadows of the snow-filled forest outside. Lenalee felt like her heart was going to shatter. Her knees gave out on her and she fell to the ground, staring ahead of her where Allen was once standing. It was then that Miranda came around the corner._

"_Ah, Lenalee-chan, I found—Lenalee-chan? Lenalee-chan?! Are you alright?! What's wrong?"_

_Lenalee finally let the sobs free and she hunched over, covering her face with her hands. A sudden gust of wind blew roughly through the now open window, which rustled the two women's clothes and played with their hair. She barely noticed Miranda fretting over her. The only thing that she saw was Allen's face; the image of his smile burned in her mind, and his voice echoed in her head._

'_Don't go...Allen-kun...!'_


	2. Chapter 2

~D. GRAY MAN DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! IT BELONGS TO KATSURA HOSHINO!!~

~THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS FANFICTION!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!!!~

~ERIKA WALKER BELONGS TO ME AND ME ALONE. SHE IS NOT AN ACTUALL DGM CHARACTER AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT!!~

Lenalee continued to stare up into the sky, lost in the memories. It had only been a short time after that when she had found out that was pregnant with Allen's child..... She was then brought out of her memories by someone poking her shoulder. She blinked, a bit dazed, and saw Lavi and Erika in front of her. Erika was sitting on top of Lavi's shoulders, prodding her shoulder with her foot. "Mama! Let's go!" Lenalee only nodded. 'I'm just tired...that's all this is.' she thought, and then focused her thoughts onto the here and now.

The group carried on through the town, stopping here and there for the things that needed to be picked up. The snow continued to fall, and Erika would reach up to the sky at times and try to catch the flakes. The small girl really was full of curiosity, not to mention energy.

Time dragged on, and Erika leaned on top of Lavi's head, sighing with boredom. She looked side to side; everything looked the same. People shopping for food or something, people hanging out...basically, there were just people everywhere. Then something caught her attention. A man who was just walking by them, wearing a long brown cloak that shadowed his face. She reached out, grabbed the cloak as he passed, and asked, "Um, excuse me mister? Is your eye bleeding??" The man stopped and looked at Erika, while Lavi stopped too, confused to what had stopped them.

The man smiled and replied, "Ah, no. This is a scar. I'm fine, little girl. May I ask YOU something?" He turned completely to face her and continued, "You look so young. Why do you have white hair then?"

Lavi turned around to face the man, and bit wary. Erika shouldn't just stop strangers like this. None the less, she answered, "Mama told me it's because my daddy had white hair, too. I thought he would be super old 'cause of that, but she said that he was only a year younger than her."

The man nodded thoughtfully, while Lavi tried to make out his face. If only that stupid cloak wasn't there. But something about the voice was vaguely familiar...he couldn't put a finger on it. He watched the man warily, feeling a bit frustrated.

The man's gaze then turned to Lavi. He stared at him for a long time, and he suddenly gasped. "L-L...Lavi?!"

It was then that Lenalee realized that Lavi and Erika were no longer with her. She turned and blinked, searching for their faces in the crowd. She sighed and quickly made her way back through the crowd.

"Lavi? Erika? Where are you??" she called, feeling a bit worried. They shouldn't just DISSAPEAR like this! She looked left and right, apologizing to the people she bumped into, and then finally spotted them. They were talking to a man in a cloak... 'What are they doing?' she thought, calling out to them, "Lavi, Erika! What are you doing? You worried me!" She walked up to them, ignoring the stranger for now.

Lavi turned and replied, "Ah, sorry. Erika stopped me. She wanted to talk to this guy here." He turned his gaze back to the cloaked man, and Lenalee stared at him. He seemed shocked for some reason. Then, Lenalee herself took a look at the man. To her surprise, he was looking at her too.

Erika was poking Lavi with her foot and asked curiously, "Uncle Lavi, do you know him? He knows your name! Who is he?"

Lenalee kept her gaze on the man, listening to Erika. This man knew Lavi's name...? She stared at the man, slowly making out his features in the shadows. Her eyes widened, and she gasped. She knew this face all too well. Lenalee nearly dropped the bags she held from shock, but didn't take her eyes off of the man.

Erika looked up at her mother, then back down at Lavi. They were both surprised. 'But why...?'

Lenalee's throat had gone dry, and she was at a loss of words. 'It can't be...! It's really...?!' As if in a trance, she handed the bags over to Lavi and took a few steps towards the man. With trembling hands, she reached up and pulled down the hood that was keeping his face hidden. The man pulled away slightly, but other than that he didn't move.


	3. Chapter 3

She stared at the man. This face...this was the face she had fallen in love with. This was the face that had worried her to death at times. This...was the face that broke her heart. White hair, greyish-blue eyes, and a long red scar down his left eye. She stared at him, completely shocked. She had no idea what to say, and she seemed to act on her own. She slowly lifted a hand and gently traced the scar. It felt real enough. It wasn't just some face paint. This was real. It was all completely real. "A...Allen....!" she whispered. She surprised herself by not using the suffix –kun. She'd always referred to him like that, but now... It almost felt strange.

Erika stared at the white-haired man; he looked so young! She also remembered then that she had seen a picture of this person before. She'd found it in Lenalee's room, on the dresser. When she'd asked who it was, Lenalee had only smiled and said, "That's your father." She'd never said his name, and never went on to talk about him. Erika had wondered why, but she had never asked anything more about it. She just stared at the man in awe – so this person was her father?

Allen stared at Lenalee for a long moment; she'd certainly changed a lot, that was for sure. She'd grown her hair out and it was tied back in a braid. She was still the beautiful Chinese girl whom he'd fallen for. He opened his mouth to say something but her shocked expression was suddenly gone, replaced with a furious one, and before he knew it she'd slapped him hard across the face.

"You bastard!!" Lenalee yelled, clenching her fists. A pained expression was mixed in with the enraged one, and she continued on, "What the hell was going on inside that head of yours?!" She took a step back, biting her lip. There was so much frustration in her and it had to come out NOW. "Running away is NOTHING like you!! You have NO idea what happened when you left!" She felt tears welling up in her eyes; they clouded her vision.

Allen was caught completely off guard, and was totally shocked. He had no idea what to say, but he couldn't blame her for being furious at him.

Lavi could only stare and Lenalee and Allen in shock. One, because Allen was actually THERE. It had been years and yet...he didn't look a whole lot more different. And two, Lenalee was totally out of character right now. Before, she would have NEVER thought to do anything like this.

Erika was by far even more confused than Lavi. Her mother had just slapped her father, who she hadn't seen in years....who Erika hadn't even met.... 'What's going on??' A worried expression slowly formed on her face, and she tried not to clench her fists.

Lenalee was doing her best to hold back her frustration, and didn't look back at Allen. Her fists were shaking and she hardly noticed the pain of her own fingernails digging into her palms. "I was pregnant, Allen! I raised OUR child....and I worked as an exorcist! Y-You have no idea...!!" she couldn't keep up her loud voice and was starting to stutter.

Allen's eyes remained wide for a few more moments, but then they narrowed slightly and he gazed at her. Pain was showing clearly in his eyes, and he couldn't find the words to say. Maybe it was best not to say anything...he didn't know. He hesitantly reached out a hand to place on her shoulder, but pulled back.

"I know this won't fix anything, but...I'm sorry." he spoke softly. This wasn't like him. Usually, he would smile and try to rationalize but now... He guessed that maybe their odd behaviour was because of the time laps. It had been a long time since they'd last done, well, anything. He didn't expect them to meet up again like this, but...at least he was able to see her again.

After a few moments of being nearly swallowed whole by Lenalee's angry stare she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and quickly began to regain her composure. She blinked her tears away and her hands relaxed, falling back to her sides. She was still clearly frustrated with him, but chose not to flaunt that anger in public. Lavi simply gazed at her, a troubled look forming on his face. Lenalee took another deep breath then spoke in a hushed tone, "Erika?"

Erika perked up her head and replied, "...Yes, mama?"

"Come over here for a second."

Erika shrunk back a little, feeling nervous. Lavi reached up and lifted the small girl off of his shoulders and down to the ground, ruffling her hair afterwards as a reassuring act. Erika walked towards her mother, looking up at the man she should be calling father.

Lenalee looked down at the white-haired girl; there was anxiousness and confusion plastered onto her face. Lenalee placed her hand on top of Erika's head, smiling down at her. She then looked back up at Allen, introducing her, "Allen, this is Erika Walker...our daughter."

Allen knelt down to Erika's level, resting his arms on his knees and running his gaze over her. She had white hair, like him, and her eyes were the colour of Lenalee's...but she had a determined, almost longing look beneath her violet orbs, an expression he had seen in many of his friends. He smiled gently, tilting his head to the side a little. "I-It's a pleasure to meet you, Erika." He was nervous about this...after all, he was meeting his daughter for the first time. The daughter he never knew he had.

Erika was hesitant at first, but then stepped forward and held her head high. She bowed, then lifted herself back up to look Allen straight in the eyes. She knew when to be respectful; Lenalee had taught her to be very polite with those she was just meeting or those she did not know well. But when she finally spoke, the confidence that had appeared to be with her in her posture disappeared – her voice was shy, and a large smile was growing on her lips.

"I've always wanted to meet you! ...D-Daddy."


End file.
